A trip home

Hello folks in internet land...

I promised an update about my trip down to Southern Oregon, so here it is.

I left directly after work, and drove the four+ hours down to Medford, dropped off my rides-hare, and headed towards my parents house. After coming into the house, my mom, looked exhausted. My step dad was trying to program their brand new HUGE flat screen TV. I put my things in the other room and sat down in the living room to catch up.

I had specifically brought some information about my job to show my mom. I figured since the stuff we were being trained on currently was medical in nature, that we would have something to bond on, (my mom is a nurse) I was actually very excited to share this with her. The conversation went something like this...

Me:"hey mom, I brought some stuff to show you about my new job".
*30 second pause, arguing with my stepdad about the TV*
Mom: "whats that?"
Me:" Oh just learning about the different regions of the brain, what they do etc, fascinating stuff."
*another 30 second pause, which includes her blankly staring at the tv, the dogs, anything but engaging me*
Me: "Mom?"
Mom: "What was that honey?"

After about thirty minutes of this, I gave up and went to bed. Honestly,  I was hurt, but hoping for better interaction when we went to breakfast the next morning, just me and her. This proved to also be one if the most one sided conversations I'd ever had. We talked about my siblings, about how she hates her job, about the weather, all of it punctuated by 15-30 second intervals of her blankly staring off into space.
Honestly this was so weird for me. My WHOLE life we did nothing but fight and argue on bad days, replaced with bantering and discussions on better days. I have never seen her so apathetic. I was at a loss as how to respond.

But the one thing she didn't say anything about was the fairly obvious fact that I have started hormones. It was the giant pink elephant in the room.

Now, this trip was not all bad, or unpleasant. Shortly after I left my moms, I went  to see some family friends that I have known since around age five or so. Wonderful, amazing, brilliant people. We talked at length about my mom, my family in general. We talked about our jobs, our current events if you will. It felt so nice to be..engaged

I spent the rest of the time, visiting friends, many of whom I hadn't seen since high school ended. It was nice to catch up.

This trip was a lot of explaining what transitioning is. What it means, what it does, what happens. Its always a topic I am more than willing to talk about, and I know that's controversial in some ways. A lot of trans-folks I have encountered don't like to talk about it, and honestly that's fine with me, but when friends of mine from High school, who still live in our hometown want me to explain gender in general, and more in depth, I figure I am answering questions for them, that they can later answer for other people.I am personally willing to forgo privacy and be a person who will answer questions to anyone who is genuine in acquiring more knowledge on the topic. This often means discussing various uncomfortable things from time to time, like what is literally happening in my pants. But I want people to know. Because they aren't going to learn this stuff in school, or the media, or most of our families/friends.


Enough of our lives are spent making assumptions about each other.To me, there are literally no stupid questions, as long as the question-asker has the best intentions. Please ask, don't assume.

In general transition news:
The insomnia and hot flashes have momentarily ceased (thank GOD) I literally am discovering new face fuzz every day and I'm only two months in. :)