There has been this idea hurricane mulling around my brain. After almost two years of hanging around on the outskirts of the kink/leather/BDSM communities, I think I am finally ready to give myself over to the project of really exploring these things. I feel like I have spent the last nine months or so recovering, healing, playing and generally not taking things very seriously, giving myself a break if you will.
But for some time, I have been slowly researching and meditating on a couple facets of this.
1.Fully stepping into "offiicial" communities of kinksters,leather folks,faeries, service folks, etc. Committing to doing that scary part of going to meet a shit ton of people I don't know. Being open to the process of stepping into a world not yet my own.
2. Committing to starting at the very very bottom of these ranks of fine folks (a hard thing for us prideful fire signs to do) Submitting myself to the process, to the knowledge and skill of others.
3.Committing to a yet-to-be-determined length of 'service'. Spending one month, six months, a year, giving my body, time, and skills to both this project, and more specifically, the communities and spaces that have served me and my community. I don't want to be just a "taker" anymore. This does not just include queer/kink spaces. This is a broader reaching idea.
These ideas are not fully formed as of yet, but there are things I know for sure. I want to be a part of the rites,traditions and history found in these amazing communities. I want to learn, better myself, and most importantly of all, allow myself (and sometimes force myself, again pride) to be humbled,to listen more, and talk less. There are many things to learn. There are many people to learn from. I have often found myself identifying as a Daddy/Dom ( and I do believe that is where I will be someday) but, in all honesty,I haven't earned that title, I'm just getting started. Its time to step back and start from the right place.
I am not one that finds it comfortable on my 'knees' so to speak. I don't tend to be real happy or comfy in a subservient position. But it has become glaringly obvious that this is what I need to do.
That all being said, I am actively putting it "out there" that I am looking for mentors/teachers in this process. I have many friends who's training/mentoring "plates" are full to capacity, and so I am having to look outside my immediate circle. If anyone could help in this endevour, please don't hesitate to email me at
connorbraddockpdx@gmail.com
Thank you all!
Much love!
-Connor.
I respect and admire you very much, Connor. Your desire to contribute to the world is so obvious and the giving spirit you have so beautiful. They say that when the student is ready, the teacher will appear... I believe the universe will provide exactly the right person(s) for you to learn from. Much <3, as always. :)
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