I knew that today I needed to write about 9/11. My first thought was WTF does 9/11 have to do with your transition etc? And the answer is not really anything, directly. But that day affected out whole world, and each of us individually in a way that swayed the course of humanity, and our lives individually. Mine included.
I was 12 years old on 9/11. Getting ready for another day of eigth grade, in my first few months in public school. I remember it so clearly because as I stumbled across the hall to the bathroom, my mom came into the bathroom and shut the door behind herself. She told me to sit down on the toilet for a minute. I thought for sure I was in trouble, or someone had died. Something.
"I am telling you in here because I don't want to scare your sister (who was 8 at the time)." I sat, blank faced. "Tell me WHAT?" (my true pre-teen impatient-early-morning-attitude shows here)
My mom held her hands together, as if praying. "Terrorists have hit the world trade centers with airplanes. There are a lot of people hurt and dead. Its chaos". I could not, in my world expierence *GRASP* in that moment, what the hell that meant. I rallied. "wait, what do you mean terrorist? Whats the world trade center???!"
My mom patiently explained the bare bones details. I felt cold . Everyone ate breakfast in silence. My mom drove me to school, where for the next eight hours, lesson plans laid cast aside, we watched ALL day the endless news coverage. A kid in my class kept asking how many people were dead. My teachers gathered in the hallways, a lot of them were crying. They kept showing that clip over and over and over.. You know the one... the one of people jumping out of the highest floors of the towers. We were all in shock.
I knew in my heart that the world would be different, but I had no idea in how many ways.
Then everyone started buying flags, and putting stickers on thier car. We felt helpless from 3,000 miles away. What could WE do?
I thought a lot about it. I bought newspapers (and still have them.) But I could NOT bring myself to have the same reaction as everyone I knew. I couldn't muster up the rage that they did, mostly I was just....sad. I remember watching a lot of specials on TV. Mostly the ones about the incredible bravery and selfless courage of all the people, the thousands of people who ran INTO the burning buildings instead of out of them, stayed in that smoldering pile of wreckage, breathing in that horrible particled debris, ruining thier lungs, pushing thier bodies, to recover bits and peices of friends, co-workers, and complete strangers. They stayed, until the job was done. That's the remarkable part of this.
A few years later, when George Bush, cited 9/11 as the main cause for going to war, I remember being so frustrated. (And suspcious, let me to tell you). I remember watching "operation shock and awe' On tv, and while my mom and step-dad cheered on our efforts, I sat on the floor and cried. How did killing more people (who, really had nothing to do with 9/11 anyways) "avenge" that tragedy? I didn't. It still hasn't.
I spent much of high school a very vocal opponent to the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan. It was not a very popular sentiment, let me tell you. But, what cemented it for me, was seeing kids my age, coming home in boxes, with a thank you note from the army. Mothers and fathers, brothers, spouses across the world, doing the same thing. Everyone was mourning losses, and no one was winning.
This is now officially, America's longest war. Spawned from the greatest tragedy on American soil. Politics, and international relations are complicated, and nothing is black and white, this is a world bathed in gray.But, I think a commitment to STOP killing people, policing our ideals all over the world, and instead fostering a global community of true communication and compromise, would make the world a much better place to be. Don't you think?
Making a commitmet to true peace is MUCH harder than waging a war. But so far, this other way clearly hasn't accomplished what is needed.
